Everything I Needed to Know About Retaining Men in Church I Learned at Joanne FabricsTM

Have you ever felt like your head was going to explode? I most recently had that experience during a trip to Joanne Fabrics^TM to buy two items for my wife. My first mistake was that I went during lunch thinking I could get in and out quickly. The only thing that happened quickly was my realization that no one in the store was in a hurry, neither the staff nor the customers, except me. My second mistake came when I asked one of the clerks for assistance in finding the two items I needed for my wife. I could almost hear an alarm go off when it seemed like she wanted to talk about the items rather than just tell me where they were.

Okay, I am running the risk of upsetting someone in order to make my point, but please know that is not my intention. At Joanne Fabrics^TM, virtually everything is set up to cater to their clientele—whether the merchandise placement, the sales approach, the smell in the store, even its name. By the smirks I received, I must have looked like a “fish out of water.” All of this is not a statement against the store, since they were doing what they should do—reaching their target. But after I finally found what I needed and made my way to the checkout line, a realization hit me, “This must be exactly how many men feel when they finally accept an invitation to visit church.”

I am not saying that all churches target women, rather, that many have not significantly considered the opportunity of strategically connecting with men. As a result, the Church’s ability to reach and keep men is decidedly weaker than it should be and the overall numbers of them, as well as their spiritual activity, is lacking. Consider these statistics from a study done by The Barna Group a little over eight years ago demonstrating that US women outpace men in most spiritual pursuits:

Women are …

100% more likely than men to be involved in discipleship
57% more likely than men to participate in adult Sunday school
56% more likely than men to hold a leadership position at a church
54% more likely than men to participate in a small group
46% more likely than men to disciple others
39% more likely than men to have a devotional time or quiet time
33% more likely than men to volunteer for a church
29% more likely than men to read the Bible
29% more likely than men to attend church
29% more likely than men to share faith with others
23% more likely than men to donate to a church
16% more likely than men to pray[1]

These numbers, and others like them, represent a distinct opportunity for the Church—an avenue for health and growth that has not been explored by many. In fact, according to a study done by the Hartford Institute for Religion Research, “the congregation that is able to attract larger proportions of men ... is more likely to grow,” but less likely to exist.[2]

So what can we do? We can be strategic about reaching men and keeping them in our churches. However, whatever you do choose to do, please don’t do the following:

• Start and finish everything late
• Cast a small vision
• Offer few challenges
• Create an atmosphere closed to ideas and opinions
• Expect frequent public displays of emotion
• Talk more, act less

All of these actions will tend to chase men away and I am sure that you can think of other “don’ts” to add to the list.  Instead, the point is to focus on specific ways (in your setting) to intentionally seek a healthier gender balance. If retaining people starts anywhere, it starts with intentionality, and that is where this month’s Momentum really begins. 

December's issue includes articles and resources on the broader subjects of retention and assimilation. I hope that you will find something of interest or an item that can offer some help in your situation. Also, if you made it this far in the article and have the time, I would enjoy getting feedback on how you rate your church’s effectiveness at reaching and keeping men. If you are doing well, please share some of your keys to success?  You can simply email me at eric@ohioag.org.

Have a Blessed Christmas!

Eric